Clearly, this mutually held conviction can’t be the truth, but just as clearly, every party believes it.
So how is it possible that neither party sees their part in the problem?
The technical name for this problem is “self-deception.”
In non-technical terms, it is the problem of, not knowing, and resisting the possibility, that one has a problem (or has contributed to the problem).
Resolving the conflict
This means that in every conflict situation, one or both of the parties has a two-part problem that must be overcome if the conflict is to be resolved.
In both content and process, Arbinger’s work is designed to overcome this very problem, making Arbinger uniquely equipped to help individuals, organizations, and groups to resolve even their most difficult conflicts.
How we work with organizations
We help our clients to identify and solve both the conflicts they know about, and to uncover and solve those that they don’t – before they escalate. Our work helps people to see what they haven’t been able to see, and therefore to solve problems that have long seemed insoluble.
Hidden conflicts and conflict escalation
While some conflicts escalate quickly and demand to be addressed, others fester for months and years and silently undermine the effectiveness of the organization. With only the symptoms of staff turnover, motivation issues, internal politics, and interdepartmental conflicts showing.
Many of these conflicts arise wherever individuals and teams fail to see or hold themselves accountable for their full impact in the organizational system, instead pursuing conflicting personal/departmental objectives. Our processes help you catch and resolve these conflicts early, before they become personal, political and hardened.
Stuck in the conflict cycle (or Self perpetuating conflicts)
When conflicts become “hardened”, they can infect the whole organization and have a massive impact on organizational effectiveness. As, the parties actually begin inviting and/or exacerbating the very problems they are complaining about. However—and this is important—parties who are doing this can’t see that they are doing it. We call these self-perpetuating conflicts “collusions.” Most organizations are shocked to discover how much waste and loss is being created by collusions within their organizations.
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